Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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