I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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