I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
