I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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