worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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