i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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