Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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