No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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