Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
