I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
