batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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