Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
