Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
