So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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