K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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