We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
