His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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