He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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