Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
