Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
