just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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