Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Houston, we have a squirter
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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