I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
