I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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