I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
