she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
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I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
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Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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