More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
