Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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