I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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