i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
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