I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
