when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My dad just said "fuck circus"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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