So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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