Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
