i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
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He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
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Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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