we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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