my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
