if you like me you must not know who I am
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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