do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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