Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
