As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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