I feel great
I just peed on a car
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
