just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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