the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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