I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it's great music for shaving your balls
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
