I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
