No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
