What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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