This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
