YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
