Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
