Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
