i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
