yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
