Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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