I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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