I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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