My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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