Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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