she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
