Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
