If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
we're so committed to being not committed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
