You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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