In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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