She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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